When I was younger I always wanted to be like the older girls. I remember myself often sticking two cantaloupes under my shirt and parading around the house. One day while I was particularly feeling myself, my mother pulled me aside. I’ll never forget what she said to me: “Chris you’re 23 years old now. You need to get a job.” “Easy for you to say Mom” I remember thinking to myself, “you got those big ol’ Honda Accords.”
Everything just seemed so much easier for the busty girls. They would get all the attention, all the boys, all the dates. Here I was, just barely getting by with my flat chest. My obsession only grew as I got older. I wanted- no, needed- some big jalopies. So much pressure is placed on us to look our best, that I caved and consulted several professionals to undergo surgical enhancements. Being rejected at the time for being a man hurt, but in hindsight forced me to come to terms with my body image. It’s so easy to get caught up thinking bigger is better, but is it really? We sat down with board certified plastic surgeon Dr. Chaud Ballez to find out.
AD:
Me: Dr Ballez, thank you for taking the time to speak with us. The question on everyone’s mind is, what do you consider too big? Does too big exist?
Dr Ballez: Personally, I do not believe too big exists. No one wants to be flat chested.
Me: I mean, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being flat chested.
Dr Ballez: No, there’s nothing wrong with it, but it’s not ideal ya know? It can help you in every aspect of your life. And that’s what we’re here to do. Give you the body you deserve.
Me: Deserve? What would you say to someone like me who’s happy with their flat chest? Not everyone wants large Christmas hams you know.
Dr. Ballez: I’m sorry…you are a man?
Me: That’s right. Is it so strange that a man is comfortable with their body?
Dr. Ballez: I’m not sure how to respond to that.
AD:
*I sensed the interview was taking a turn at this point and decided to bring the conversation back on topic*
Me: I have some images here. I want you to tell me: “Too Big”, or “Just Right”.
Dr. Ballez: Ok, lets see what you got
Dr. Ballez: Dolly, a classic. I would say not big enough actually.
Me: That wasn’t an option, but let’s continue.
Dr. Ballez: Was this what you wanted done?
Me: moving along.
Dr. Ballez: Oh these are excellent work, very tasteful. I would once again unfortunately need to say not big enough however.
Me: And finally.
Dr. Ballez: See, now here we go. I would say this is right in the “sweet spot”.
Me: Thank you for your time Dr. This is valuable insight.