I still remember it like it was yesterday. I returned from school proud to display my latest creation in art class: a family portrait. Upon presenting it to my father, I was immediately dismissed. Pressing him to take a look, he finally relented only to tell me it wasn’t very good and I should leave him alone. This would be a recurring theme in my life. Every major moment, every graduation, every achievement, met with nothing. He never wanted me and we both know it. If he won’t validate me I’ll find someone else who will. Let me introduce you to my three suitors:
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James: “The Good”
I know it’s cliche to go out with an older man looking for the validation I never got, but can you blame me? Who doesn’t love a little pepper in the hair, and oh boy does he make me sneeze. Father time has been kind to him, unlike my father to me.
Dylan: “The Bad”
Dylan’s the kind of guy your dad tells you not to go out with. “Boys only want one thing” he says, knowing that’s true because he only ever wanted one thing from my mom and I was the unintended consequence. There’s nothing like hopping on his motorcycle and feeling the rumble between my legs (I call his penis “the rumble”)
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Leonid: “The Ugly”
Sometimes when everyone tells you you’re worthless you start to believe it and just need to mingle with the losers. Leo doesn’t have very much going right for him, but at least he’s always available. I always feel better about myself after seeing the way he lives. Still, there’s a certain charm in knowing you can do better and he’s lucky to have you. He would never walk out on me, mostly because he’s too fat and lazy to walk