I’ve lived in this country my whole life and built roots here. I paid my taxes. I followed the rules. Now it seems like every day a new race comes to town and changes the fabric of the community for the worse. They come and take over the streets, cause a scene, and make a mess. We don’t have anywhere to put everyone who comes and it’s driving unaffordable house prices in the area due to demand. I don’t mind the “right” ones coming, but this unenforced “we accept everyone” position has gotten out of hand. Here are my least favourite races I want to see out of my community:
AD:
The 5km
Too short to even bother. By the time you get going it’s already over. You’d think I’d be used to that by now but I am not. This is the go to race for people who don’t actually run, but want an excuse to get out of work by having their company “sponsor” them for an afternoon
Hyrox
Half ass cardio + half ass weight lifting? You can kiss my whole ass on your way out of my town. Whatever happened to the good ol’ triathlon? It’s not a real race without the risk of drowning
Iditarod
I mean really it’s the dogs racing, you’re just along for the ride. Unnecessary. If I wanted to watch dogs race I’d go down to the track and bet it all on “Hot Dog We Have A Weiner”. At least then maybe I could make a few bucks and take my wife Martha on that vacation she’s always wanted.
AD:
World Wife Carrying Championships
They wouldn’t let me compete with Martha due to my health challenges. My wife however, being the competitive gal she is, didn’t want to sit this one out. She ultimately still signed up with her trainer, Humberto Imenez. I still find it odd I was never allowed at their practices that would go until the wee hours of the morning, but I understand wanting to keep your training secrets to yourself. He was kind though and always dropped her off at home when they were finished. I never saw her happier.
You’d think I would therefore be supportive of this race but I am not! Martha and her trainer went to Cabo for 2 days before the race to relax and prepare themselves mentally. Due to weather, their flight was delayed and they arrived 15 minutes after check-in time and were not allowed to compete. Shame on you WWCC! Maybe one day Martha, I believe in you.
Papua New Guineans
They know what they did.